One hot day Kirtlan and I were jumping on the trampoline in the sunshine.  Eventually he collapsed on the trampoline and exclaimed "Sometimes I wish earth was the 4th planet from the sun!"

Kimball and Cannon are our identical three year old twin boys.  Being summer they love playing in the pool.  When they jump in Cannon yells "Cannonball!" and Kimball yells "Kimball ball!"  It always makes us chuckle.

This is at least a year old but still very funny.

Maddie came and sat on my lap one day and said "Mom, one day I snuck and licked all the toothbrushes and yours tasted the best."

What do you do with that kind of information?

Here's the kind of thing that a kids says that you're not sure if you should share or not....so well, I'm sharing it.  One of my kids (I'll at least give them that) asked me what would happen if you tried to trick your mom and dad by licking your hands instead of washing them after you use the bathroom.  After I explained the ramifications of such actions, this child then asked, why your hands always taste so bad after you wash them.  This I had to explain comes from not rinsing the soap off your hands like you should.  This child then proceeded to go upstairs and thoroughly wash their hands.  I think were making progress in the field of hygiene in our home.  The next question was "What if you have a bad taste in your mouth?"  My recommendation at this stage of questions was "Jello".

Kirtlan was telling us today about the movie The Incredibles.

“You know Jack-Jack? He say ‘dada.’ You know what ‘dada’ mean? Dada means rectangle”

Now you know...

A couple of days ago Maddie said “Mommy, Jesus is coming.” (I'm sure you're seeing a trend in our childrens conversations. Lately in our home Jesus gets talked about more than Dora and less than Blues Clues.) Struck by the profound thought I answered “Your right Maddie Jesus is coming.” But not to confuse her too much I added “But probably not today.” And Kirtlan said, “No Maddie, Jesus isn’t coming. Jesus is just pretend.” Heartbroken by what I just heard and concerned that the worlds of pretend and reality were being confused by the boy, I told him, “No, Jesus is real. Santa Clause is pretend.” (I realize that most people reading this think I’m crazy for telling a 2 and 4 year old that Santa isn’t real, but they’re my kids and I HATE lying to them about anything.) I got the most incredulous looks from my children. Kirtlan said, “Na-uh, Santa Clause is real, silly mommy!!!” to which Maddie quickly agreed. Kirtlan then added, “He visited our house. Don’t you remember?” They both just looked at me like I was the stupidest woman on the planet…”Santa Clause is pretend, ha!” I wouldn’t leave the conversation until I got them both to tell me that Jesus was real, then left their belief in Santa Clause just as strong as ever.

Tonight, my kids decided we should get on our old play couch and pretend that it could fly. My four-year-old even put a plastic drumstick between the cushions for some sort of starting lever, and a little ball on an ice cream cone for a joystick-type steering wheel. After the flying couch “landed,” I asked where we were. My son responded matter-of-factly, “the beach." He called the carpet sand, laid out blankets, and even hefted in imaginary palm trees. He made sure that my two-year-old daughter and I lay down beside him. Then he said, “Man, it’s hot. I think we need some drinks—with ice.” I love their imaginations.

Yesterday morning, my kids were watching Disney’s Peter Pan. Captain Hook had just captured Tigerlilly and had her strapped to an anchor as the tide was about to come in. Water splashed at her neck and gradually rose over her head until Peter Pan saved her. My four-year old asked, “Is Tigerlilly getting baptized?”

This morning, Maddie, our two-year old spilled a bowl of Lucky Charms (thankfully without milk) over the carpet. My wife asked her to clean them up. Maddie didn't react. Shelly asked her again. Maddie replied with a crazy excuse, "but I don't have any hands." She stated it matter-of-factly, gesturing with her two perfect hands and tried to walk away.

This happened 2 years ago but it's still funny.
Kirtlan went potty in the potty chair and I told him if he did that he could call Harry Potter. Well I called Chad and told him, out of earshot of Kirtlan, that “Kirtlan went potty in the potty chair and I said he could talk to Harry Potter on the phone, you ready?” Kirtlan then got on the phone with “Harry Potter”, Chad used his best British accent, and they had a lively conversation about going potty. Later that day Aunt Michelle came over and I was trying to praise Kirtlan for going potty in front of people so I said “Kirtlan who did you talk to on the phone today?” He didn’t answer so I continued to probe, “Kirtlan went potty on the potty chair so he got to call Harry Potter, didn’t you Kirtlan?” Kirtlan then responded with “Harry Potter’s daddy” Not sure if I heard him right I said, through tears of laughter, “Did you get to talk to the real Harry Potter?” He shook his head. “The real Harry Potter or Daddy as Harry Potter?” “Daddy as Harry Potter.”

This morning my two-year-old daughter said, “Daddy look at me.”

I was busy at the moment and didn’t respond.

She repeated, “Daddy look at me.”

I looked. She smiled, “I’m cute.”

I had to agree.

Shelly was visiting with some of our neighbors. Our four-year-old son and our two-year-old daughter were playing, which quickly turned into fighting, in the next room. The visiting adults overheard my boy say, “Jesus says be nice,” and “Jesus says don’t hit.” Our neighbors began to compliment our parenting just in time to hear my little girl respond, “Jesus says I can to whatever I want.”