Toothpicks

One of my 6yos with a toothpick in his mouth

6yo: Most people who are bad have these in their mouths.
Dad: I think they're for people who have stuff in their teeth.
6yo: Most people who eat animals, and eat people, and like, groundhogs and lots of meat and stuff usually have these things in their mouths like this. (pokes toothpick out of teeth and grimaces)
Dad: (no response)

Pay Attention to Me!

My 3yo forcing me to play charades while I'm trying to get my editing done.

3yo: Guess what I am? *Lays on stomach with feet in the air*
Me: A (insert just about every animal I can think of because that has been the theme for the last 100 guess-what-I-ams)
3yo: No! A dead whale.

Of course, why didn't I guess that one?!?!

My 8 year old

I was arguing with my daughter
Me: Please do it. You are being ridiculous.
Daughter: Does ridiculous mean awesome? Because, then, yes!

LOL, I lost that fight.

The day after I shaved my head

Just visited my first graders classes.

One boy told me I looked like a monster. By the glint in his eyes I think it was a compliment.
His teacher corrected him and he said, "Oh yeah, not a monster. A ZOMBIE"

Another boy got shave-head envy and told me that he wants to shave his head so bad but his mom told him if he shaves his blond hair then it will grow back black. LOL!

Johnny Depp

My 3yo saw a pic of Jack Sparrow on my blog and said "Look, Jack Sparrow!" I asked him how he knew and he said, "Legos"

Shredhead

My three year old just said, with a huge grin on his face: "April O'Neil is my cousin!" #toomuchninjaturtles

The Dance

OK, one more funny from my 3yo.
Me: You'd better go to the bathroom.
Him: But I'm not doing the potty dance.
Me: Then what is that?
Him: The I'm-so-excited-for-Silver-Hawks dance!
Me: Riiiiiight....

She's HOT!

3 year old son: The girl on Toy Story 3 is hot.
Me: What did you say? 
Son: The girl is hot.
Me: The girl is hot?
Son over annunciating: The girl is T-aw-k
Me: The girl is talk...ing?
Son grinning: YEAH!
(Kids are seriously this hard to understand sometimes)

Super Bear

My 6yo twins asked me if I could have any super power what would I want?

My answer: I'd be Loves-a-Lot with the power of Love shooting out of my belly at my enemies and enveloping them with such feelings of love and acceptance that they change their ways and become my friends.

(Cricket silence)

My 6yo's responded:
-All the Carebears have the same power.
-It's called a stare, mom. You'd have the power of stare.
-Stare's don't even really make sense.
-Besides Loves-a-Lot isn't even a Carebear, he's an elephant.
-Yeah, he's a Carebear Cousin.

So my answer didn't really impress them.
But their answers impressed me. Who taught them so much about Carebears?